Patients who are considering plastic surgery are often surprised when their spouses do not share the same concerns that they do about their body. Often it is as a recent study shows spouses sometimes see us through rose colored glasses. Dr. O’Toole shares with his patient that it is perfectly normal and that it does not have to change the desire of the patient. For example, breast augmentation, breast lift, and breast reduction patients should understand that enhancing their breast is not based on the desires of the spouse. For patients it increases their self-esteem, self-confidence, and wardrobe selections. Most patients are able to have a better relationships after surgery simply because of their self-confidence and reaction towards others. According to The Los Angeles Times put on your rose-colored glasses when viewing the big picture — but take them off when looking at the details. An example of an optimistic big-picture illusion that’s good to hold: “We’ll ultimately have a good marriage.” A detail-oriented one that’s just silly: “My partner and I will always be passionately attracted to one another.”
The distinction between global and specific matters a lot, says Lisa Neff, assistant professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin and director of the ongoing Austin Marriage Project.
“If you have a more realistic handle on your partner’s specific traits and expectations for the marriage, you’ll be better at solving conflicts, providing support and maintaining your relationship,” she says. “Having a positive overall glow, that things will work out for the best and that my partner is really a good person — that glow is going to remind you of why you’re in that relationship in the first place.”
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